Marriage vs. Freedom: Happy Anniversary

As my husband and I celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary, I’d like to address a statement one of my close, single friends shared with me. He said, “When you get married, you suddenly lose your freedom. Gone.” I laughed at the look of horror on his face and he smiled back, knowing I would disagree with his uneducated opinion. Although he continued with ridiculous assumptions about marriage, I’ll respond to his first point as I look back on our last 5 years…

Many people say you become tied down when you get married, and that’s true- you’re devoted to one person and one person only- forever. Yet, I actually believe marriage is the most freeing stage in life. Some people may look back and say the freedom they experienced in their 20s (just an example) was the best ever: no responsibilities, no one depending on you, fewer bills, more fun. That’s also true but, when you meet the one person you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with, you’ve met the one person who knows EVERYTHING about you: your quirks, your embarrassments, your oddities… how you truly behave behind closed doors. He’s seen you completely naked, in every sense of the word, and you don’t have to hide, you don’t have to pretend, you don’t have to be afraid of rejection of any part of you. (Which I value since Epilepsy breeds self-consciousness.) Gawd, what a relief. Being so vulnerable makes you even more honest together and that’s one of the most attractive, necessary qualities in a partner. And honesty brings freedom. Suddenly your odd habits and weird characteristics are a source of laughter and shake-my-head humorous moments for your spouse. In fact, you actually enjoy reliving them together, the “story that never gets old” for the two of you (and will never be repeated for any others!). :) In those moments, we’ve built our foundation of love, laughter and trust.

So I say, five years may be small to some but we’ve created a home, started a firm, spent a few frustrating years trying to have a baby, and are now exhausted from chasing one. :) You’ve held me in seizures and in health and I cling to nothing more securely than the love you show me in every action as a husband and a father. Behind every moment of joy and every fight is my passion for our life together and my love for you. Nobody could ever love me or put up with me the way you do and I’m so grateful I found you to carry me through our life together, literally.

As I did the day we exchanged vows in that glass chapel, I look at the man who is my partner, now with our son in his arms, sitting across the table in our home, lying in bed next to me every night, and I know there is no venture or adventure for which I wouldn’t be by your side. I know, I believe, through all of our good, bad and ugly, you’ll navigate this life with me, without fail…

THAT is a freedom no other contract can provide for you.

Happy anniversary baby.

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