Trigger: 2019 It’s About Time

(I wrote this over Christmas break but never shared... late, but here it is anyways :) ) Trigger. Finger’s always there... cocked, ready. Pull! Clay shatters... grey like my brain. Hits the target, sprays, explodes.  But there aren’t any clay pigeons. 2018 brought live targets... Christmas, then night one in the hospital. No electrodes, no... Continue Reading →

For Everyone: The Sun ;)

My life revolves around it. Me- singularly. If I close my eyes… No husband, no child, no job, no… whatever. Music. Any of you relate? There’s a song always for my mood. And I’ll play it- OVER and OVER- til my husband’s shaking his head and pleeeeeading for the repeat button to break. lol It’s... Continue Reading →

Flutter, In Out: Epilepsy

I sat there watching it flutter ever so slightly… down, up, down, up… Brief inhale, long exhale. Quick to capture the air, slow to let it go. So soft and sweet I almost held my breath for fear the motion of his chest would stop. All would be paralyzed. I’d panic. Remember to beat, my heart.

Post V-Day: Most Important “Love”

I’ve written several “letters” in the past, I could post for Valentine’s day- one to my husband (obviously lol) and one to Epilepsy include links. This one, however, is to you. Now that Valentine’s has passed, we can look beyond the hearts, candy, flowers, romantic FB pics, and focus on you. This V-Day letter is one to ourselves…

Epilepsy & Relationships: Forgetting Her

He, being my husband, made the comment in conversation with a doctor. And he’d come home and relayed the conversation to me; I knew the comment wasn’t said in judgement and when he casually repeated those words, I could see an old sense of pride. Almost as if he was picturing her...

What I’m Leaving in 2016

2016 for me was by far the most painful year. Epilepsy played a large part in its undoing and led to conflicts I never thought possible. Some were mended and others remain...

The Epilepsy Cycle

I stood there, arms bracketing the laundry hamper, head hanging and watched the puddles form against the lenses of my glasses. Heartbroken tears cradled and collected. Familiar. I'd gone 5 whole days seizure free and was shooting for that elusive full week of reprieve but it wasn't meant to be. Last night's episodes rocked me-... Continue Reading →

When the Superficial Isn’t: Meds & Hair

  Hair- begins to represent less and less of you and more and more of your “invisible illness.” That was literally my first thought as I did my hair for the first time since I hacked off 6 inches… I mean, I’ve had long hair all my life- down to the middle of my back... Continue Reading →

2016 Brings ?

As I look out the window beyond this screen, I see a blanket of white snow. A fresh start, a perfect template for a new year… And it’s so peaceful.

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