Seven Year Itch & Epilepsy: Happy Anniversary :)

They call it the seven year itch; well, we’re married seven years today and met nine years tomorrow. And the only itch I can count on are the hives I get from my meds every few days. So, I’m deeming this our “Seven year stick.” lol

I mean, technically we’ve already been through 7 years, and we’re still together. But now it’s the wanting a new house, the financials, Mommy wanting to go back to work and figuring out how we balance everyone and full-time school for our little guy… It’s the “stick.” At least for me. And fortunately, I’m pretty positive it goes for my hubby as well.

It’s the married life- work, responsibilities, juggling what we desire vs. what we need. What lies ahead? Where do we want to be in the future? And our health.

I have an opportunity to go back to work, and how does that fit? Does my health get better? It was. My seizures reduced to 2 times a week with small clusters… SO much improved. But over the last 3 weeks, it’s been cluster after cluster… 20 or 30 seizures in a night. The old. The time when I was full throttle into surgery mode (which I am all for still) but there was this period of peace. I’m talking 2-3 seizures a week. Bliss in my case. And I thought somehow it was all getting better. Maybe the meds kicked in with my lifestyle… Or my lifestyle kicked in with the meds. Maybe the stress I was under for the gala was actually beneficial (ironic). Who knows… but it was better. SO much better.

But now it’s not. Why? I always go back to why… Those of you in my position know- you evaluate everything: food, lifestyle, stressors, normal triggers, whatever’s unusual. And it’s not there.

WHY???? Just an answer, right? That’s all you want. What about a pattern? Some commonality you register in your memory or journals. And after almost 20 years, it’s not there for me. Again. A mystery. So disheartening.

When’s it going to change? The 7th year? The 8th year? The 9th year? So many wonderful, amazing, once-in-a-lifetime moments in our marriage… those we’ve treasured. We’ve learned to treasure. And now we embark on year 7 and we know that, at least for us, it’s not a year to itch… it’s another year to adapt. To appreciate. To memorialize. To recognize all we have in the midst of what we don’t. Because we are fortunate. Because we still fight. We fight together.

We keep fighting together- as one.

I pray the “itch” never comes, as I believe it’s possible in any year, and especially in our situation, or even when you’re just “human.” But today, as we begin year 7, we are strong in our goals, our aim for our family of three and our promise of two…

We created this “forever” 7 years ago today, and no matter the numerous triumphs and the many, many struggles, I crawl in to bed each night next to you, reassured and thankful. A leg intertwined, hands held or bodies pressed. We are together…

I know I vow to keep “for better or for worse,” and I’m blessed in your commitment to “in sickness and in health.” And I have to believe, in this year, as I will in the next, and every year after, we will make it beautiful. We will hope. We will pray. We will find a cure…

We will heal.

That’s year 7 for us. I feel it. I know it. I believe it.

We will laugh, love and cherish in these next 365 days… our “7 year stick.” lol  😉

I love you Brian Davis… All the years of you.

 

Happy Anniversary baby.

Your M,

Always