As I look out the window beyond this screen, I see a blanket of white snow. A fresh start, a perfect template for a new year… And it’s so peaceful. A cloak for all the regrets, unattained goals or simply all the small things you just “never got to” in 2015. Maybe even yourself.
2016 holds promise.
I think to myself- Promise of what? That I don’t know. Maybe promise for renewed health, less seizures, an answer perhaps to why things happen the way they do. Maybe promise for new challenges, less failure, an avenue to “finding oneself.” Maybe even renewed compassion, less hesitation, a more widespread desire to cure the world’s ailments. Who knows? I’m not sure what my goal is yet. I won’t be able to proclaim a specific resolution on January 1st but that’s okay. I have ideas, they’re brewing and at some point I’ll find clarity in what I already know. I just have to trust myself enough to follow it. To bring whatever it may be to fruition.
…And that was yesterday. When I was kind of fibbing. I knew in the back of my mind what I wanted to share but lacked the… bravery? Is that the right word? lol
2016 holds promise- and honesty.
Now, I won’t make an actual resolution because I don’t believe in those. I fail them 90% of the time once I give my goal a title. I will say, though, I believe this year holds bigger dreams and better hopes. Courage and resolve. But more importantly, the promise of me. I must choose to believe in myself, my goals, my it’s-too-much-to-achieve-alone. I have to be honest with myself about the seriousness of my fight with Epilepsy. I have to determine how much I’m willing to share of myself to make an impact in raising awareness…
And I’ve decided I want to share it all. Be completely open and honest. No matter how vulnerable I feel, how much I hesitate because I’m worried it will elicit a pity-party, or how uncertain I am as to whether I’ll actually succeed in making an impact on others; it’s an all or nothing. No room for self-doubt and hesitation. Otherwise, how do we make progress? And I want to progress with “In Megan’s Shoes.” I want it to become more than an outlet; make my day-to-day positively affect others.
I wasn’t fibbing about yesterday’s reference to clarity; for those of us needing direction, the exact means will eventually map out before us. They’re for you and I to discover. It doesn’t have to be by New Year’s, but it will happen sometime over the next 365 days. And the only thing we should resolve to do is not be afraid to mar that clean slate with our inevitable imperfections and attempts. For there is promise in 2016 for each of us…
Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go mess up that snow. ;)