I’d like to start off with “we’ve all been there” but it’s probably more appropriate to begin- “Some of you have been there”; the feeling of overwhelming emotion when you’ve had just a taaaad too much to drink and you’re not used to the wave of spirits you’ve consumed in celebration.
Yep, that was me a few Saturdays ago, for my sister’s 30th birthday.
Let me put your mind at ease before you judge me- I was not a public blubbering mess like you see on tv or in comedic movies. It started on the way home, on my beach cruiser, while I was focusing on riding in a straight line behind my sister. :) (I’d promised our Mom, no bike accidents on the way home.) We safely pulled up to her house and immediately headed for the showers; but I sat on the toilet, pulled out my phone and dictated my thoughts during the bike ride back- thank you technology. This is what I read the next day:
My sister’s 30th birthday… The sun had that beginning-of-the-end-of-the-day-glow, starting to set and we were running towards the water- me flung over my husband’s shoulder laughing. I fell back w/ my hands out and laid in the waves, my husband and the rest of the group, laughing. Doesn’t matter whether you have epilepsy, marital problems, childhood disabilities, money issues, whatever- there’s always something for everyone… It was a moment where I wasn’t tingling, twitching, or floaty. No responsibility. Normal healthy. A Sense of freedom… It’s ironic but sometimes the people closest to you are the ones you shelter most from your daily struggles. Not out of selfishness or deliberation but because you want to protect them or yourself – not have to answer questions you don’t always know the answer to. I felt free in that moment – maybe not something most people understand, but it felt fantastic – and I’m so thankful, my mom and dad (watching the kids), sister, and husband could give that to me even without knowing it… I’m positive she didn’t know but I cried as we rode home- she kept saying are you okay? The irony, but it was only to make sure I was following her… lol I’m okay- somehow, we’re all always okay. There’s too much to be grateful for; why feel otherwise?…
And I think I’ll leave it at that. :)