“Man, you look sexy! Hop in hot stuff!” (My husband picking me up)
“That’s a cool hat Mom.” (My son after careful examination)
“We’ll do the lip and sides of the fire pit tomorrow.” (The landscaper looking away awkwardly. Poor guy lol)
And my neighbors slooooooooowly driving by checking out the show when my husband dropped me off at home.
All first, varied reactions to my EEG get-up. I must admit I look pretty funny and I’d never guess what these wires and weird netting are for if I wasn’t in this situation.
I feel grateful today though. And I’m going to do all the wrong things to celebrate this opportunity… to uncover what’s going haywire in this brain of mine. See, the problem is my seizures are unpredictable and sporadic. The last two nights were peaceful and uneventful. The previous three procured a combination of almost 40 seizures. Uncontrollable and simply part of my life. Never what one wants.
But I want it tonight. I’m almost giddy about wanting it.
I want the nights I’ve spent frustrated, exhausted, scared and begging for reprieve. It NEEDS to be that kind of night. So I’m going to do everything wrong; I’m going to stay up late, be on the computer for long periods and think about all life’s current stressors. (My triggers.) I could go so far as to ingest a little aspartame but I don’t want this party to be that big. :) BUT, I will pop some champagne. lol Alcohol doesn’t really do it to me unless I have champagne. Funny, my brain is so particular… I think it’s the sugar though. Whatever the case, I just realized two things- 1. I’ll never fulfill my dream of being a rapper, and 2. I need to call the hubs for a stop at the store.
Am I a little nervous to purposely implement all my triggers? Sure. Yet on the other hand, I’m looking forward to finding MY cure. My life. And an even better life for my family. Since they told me the previous surgery option (resection) would only affect one type of my seizures (my Grand Mals), I’ve been disappointed. However, there are other surgical options- other hope, possibilities, reprieves.
So I’m grateful for another opportunity to examine this noggin’ of mine… And who can resist a celebration with some good champagne while I’m all dolled up? lol
I only have 24 hours, so let’s get this party started…
Wish me luck! ;)