First of all, that was a trick title. I’ve never been thankful for my epilepsy. lol But there are byproducts of living with this disorder for which I’m grateful and putting them into words reminds me of something we’ve done on several Thanksgivings at my parents’ house. We picked tree leaves and kept them in a basket by the door- at some point before dinner, each person would take one leaf and write something for which he/she was thankful, then we’d go around the dinner table and share our leaf.
Here’s what’s “grown” on my tree since last Thanksgiving- a few contenders for my leaf if you will. ☺️
I am by no means a great friend. I often don’t return phone calls, I am slow to respond to texts and as such can be very inconsiderate in a non-purposeful way. However, somehow, I am still blessed with the most incredible, giving individuals as a support system. I’ve learned the breadth and depth of some friendships far exceeded my expectations in times of great depression and uncertainty. I learned patience can tame anger, and persistence can conquer loneliness. And I learned the value of living what you say. I’ve been beyond fortunate and I hope you all know who you are…
If epilepsy has taught me anything – and is still teaching me something – it’s okay to be weak because you can also discover strength in your weakness. For through weakness there is vulnerability, and although everyone tries so hard to hide his/her vulnerability, it is one of the most vital threads in bringing people together. I would never know the people I know now, would never have the support system I do, and would never be able to however humbly affect the lives of others if I wasn’t vulnerable. Think about it – when people feel vulnerable as a group- religiously, politically, socially- they bind together. And in that binding with those who share commonalities or compassion, we find strength. I’m thankful for the strength I’ve found in my weakness, my fight against this disorder.
I never lied to myself. I was never delusional and claimed I didn’t have epilepsy, like people who claim the holocaust or 911 never happened… Let’s not go that far. But I did lie to myself in terms of how I handled my epilepsy. I didn’t acknowledge its severity and how much it truly impacts the way I live my life. I refused to accept certain boundaries… I also had to come to terms with my expectations of others in response to my epilepsy. People are not mind readers and you can’t hold someone responsible for things they know nothing of. This could be a very long explanation, but suffice it to say, if you can’t tell the truth and the facts about yourself, to yourself, how can you ever be your own biggest advocate and expect others to advocate for you?
This is by far one of the things for which I am most thankful. ☺️ My gratitude for the compassion shown by others to myself and my family can never be expressed fully. In return though, I have learned how much more compassion I should possess towards others. I see it in my son’s genuine concern for me and how he tears up anytime something bad is going to happen to a character in a Disney movie… lol There is an innocence and lack of judgment behind his concern and I’m trying my best not to judge people automatically; they may have a hidden story similar to mine. I am by no means Mother Theresa, but I’m learning we often all have a story in need of a little compassion…
I’m not sure what I’ll write on my leaf this year- I only get one. lol I could write a piece of the above or “husband,” “son,” “my Mom…” All true. (Guess I’m pretty lucky 😊)
I think I’ll just write one word though- “Life”- and let it come to me when I share my leaf…
Happy Thanksgiving all. ☺️
Love this. Keep pushing on! I struggle with epilepsy too. I know how you feel. Wishing all the best!
Great article. Thanks so much. I have had epilepsy for roughly 35 years. Sometimes it can be hard to find positive things about it. I am a writer as well, and I find it very helpful to get my feeling out that way. I think people really like personal stories. You have mentioned a little bit of everything. I really enjoyed it.
I’ve never ever thought about my epilepsy in a positive way, it’s nice to see you spin a different light on it!
Thanks for sharing this! I have been searching for a reason to be grateful for my epilepsy, and I actually found one – my son! If I didn’t have epilepsy, I would have never considered adopting, and therefore someone else would have been the mother to my now 14 year old son who I adopted from birth. So, that keeps me going! Also, you’re so right, I am often knocked down by epilepsy, but I always get back up!
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Love that you adopted your son and he is such a treasure for you. For sure something to be grateful for!!!
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As a nurse, and someone who is also diagnosed with epilepsy, in an odd way I am thankful for my epilepsy. Well, I guess, a better choice of words is instead of looking at the dark side of epilepsy, I’ve learned to look at the bright side of it. Epilepsy has taught me lots of things. It has made me a more patient and compassionate and understanding person, which in turn has made me a much better nurse. Also, now that my epilepsy is mostly under control (seizure about every 6 months) it has taught me how fortunate I am. While I cannot drive, and never have had my license, I can still work, and live a fairly normal life unlike some others who are suffering. Another thing epilepsy has taught me is how to advocate for my own health and not be afraid to speak up about my healthcare decisions and to educate myself about them. Lastly, the most important thing I’m grateful for in my epilepsy journey is that while sometimes my epilepsy may knock me down, I always get back up.
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Love this ☺️ Thank you for sharing!!! 💜💜
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