(I wrote this over Christmas break but never shared... late, but here it is anyways :) ) Trigger. Finger’s always there... cocked, ready. Pull! Clay shatters... grey like my brain. Hits the target, sprays, explodes. But there aren’t any clay pigeons. 2018 brought live targets... Christmas, then night one in the hospital. No electrodes, no... Continue Reading →
I walked along that street, oblivious to the sweat on my forehead and upper lip, loving the sunshine and the periodic breeze. But what I loved more was watching my son walk with purpose towards every house. Towards every mailbox. Towards wherever he could place one of those purple and white envelopes. He insisted on... Continue Reading →
They let me kiss her on the forehead while they held her… The sweet little baby girl. Her enamored parents. Being only a month old, hers reminded me of my son’s sweet face when he seemed so incredibly tiny and fragile. Breakable, yet little did I know how resilient he would be. And little did... Continue Reading →
I needed a little liquid courage to put this on paper. (Besides it’s always much grittier, less polished and pretty, like real life.) But he said no. Nobody can know...
I sat there watching it flutter ever so slightly… down, up, down, up… Brief inhale, long exhale. Quick to capture the air, slow to let it go. So soft and sweet I almost held my breath for fear the motion of his chest would stop. All would be paralyzed. I’d panic. Remember to beat, my heart.
My Saturday revolved around a rectal syringe. (Great first line huh?) It felt dirty. Not necessarily dirty, but….. exceptionally sad. I’d tried so long to avoid it. Increasing the pills already, apparently, failing to work. Then CBD oil to no avail. And I knew I was just putting off the inevitable while having number 62, 63, 64… hearing... Continue Reading →
I didn't need to see it. See them. I'd already lived it, or at least my own version. Because if anything, I've learned we're all different, but not in the pain. That we share as deeply as two strangers who have never met but live in the same body, can.