I was going in for an angiogram. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a procedure where they make a small slit in the skin of your pubic region and into your femoral artery. Then, they lace a small tube up through your artery towards your brain. There, the tube is used to inject die into your bloodstream while they take brain scans, monitoring where the die flows and if there are any abnormalities.
I was undressed, in my beautiful a** out hospital gown waiting for my doc when the doors parted and the light came beaming in. From the center of that heavenly light came my doctor. My smokin’ hot doctor. Holy cow- I’d obviously seen this in movies but I never thought the dream of meeting my doctor and marrying him would come true for moi. He said “hello” with a dazzling smile and then proceeded to talk to the nurses. I should’ve worn make-up today. Why didn’t I do my hair? Nobody told me there was a sexy doctor amidst the nerdy PhDs!!! I mentally tried to recall what I looked like before I left.
Finally, after staring at the back of his head for what seemed like forever (beautiful, thick hair by the way. Would definitely not be bald when we’re 80 and sitting on a porch reading poetry to each other), he turned to me and asked, “Are you okay?” In my head– hell yeah I’m okay; you’re gorgeous! And then reality set in when he whipped back my hospital gown and I was naked, from the waste down, in front of my soap opera star beautiful doctor. Nope, No, everything is not okay. My nekkid nether-regions were on full display for Mr. Gorgeous. Oooh my gawd. Slow down, doc, I’m not that kind of girl… I remember before succumbing to the anesthesia, two things- one, thinking ‘please don’t fall asleep,’ then I can’t stare at this man, and two, him saying- “no need for the razor.” Mortifying, but phew, I guess we were okay down there. lol
Unfortunately, when I came to after the procedure, my heavenly angel was nowhere to be found, and then my actual doctor walked in- thin, gawky, very PhD looking with waspy hair on top and a warm, goofy smile- Ugh. And then I thought- why would he stay and greet me as I came out of my fog?… I’d broken dating etiquette 101 and already shown him the goods!